This very short post is to take time to deidcate an honorable salute and extended love to our United States armed forces past and present. Be it the Army, Navy, Marines, or Air Force. We salute and thank you for your sacrifice!

I feel very great today! I woke up quite early (7am), but it was for a good cause. That cause being a breakfast buffet . I was promised one in February for my birthday, but we just couldn't get around to it. So then my parents said that once I hit a target weight, I could go. Yes, I used to be very fat. I was a whopping 141 kilograms (310 pounds). Now I am 118 kilograms (260 pounds). I have 30 more pounds to go until my target weight! One of the great parts to this weight loss is that my old favorite clothes are fitting me now . Note the chubby face.

I can say that my favorite TV show The Biggest Loser has been nothing but an inspiration to me. Seeing all of those people struggle and fight to lose weight is sort of what drives me to exercise.

Something else that inspires me to exercise is the drive to get my endurance and strength back after I had that grand mal seizure. It happened a few months ago, but I still feel the effects in my body. I have been walking four miles 4/7 days a week. The other three days I lift weights and do anaerobic work.

Yesterday I went and saw my friends at the old apartment building I used to live at. Boy they sure have changend. One of my friends is as big as a cow. Others are sucessfully losing weight. Some are crazier than ever and some are rather mellow. I feel sorry for some of them; they are trapped in the void that I once was in . Speaking of crossing the void, some of my medication is being cut back! I am more awake and alert than ever--I can blame my doctor and mother for this. I feel 110% better than I did a month ago. I feel even more so better than two months ago!

I am working on a torrent site with a friend. I don't know much about it, so I can't say much about it. I will say more once I get the info~

That's all for now. I'll post in a few days! ~~

As we approach the end of spring, flowers are starting to bloom and trees are starting to blossom. Things are really getting more and more beautiful outside. Here is a small picture of the flowers my Dad and I got her for mother's day. She loves pink and she loves inpatients, so it's a win-win!



The temperatures may be climbing, but that can be a good thing! With high temperatures comes the start of swimming season! What is more fun than swimming you ask? The answer is simple: fishing! I can't get enough of swimming or fishing . Something else that happens in the summer is the blooming of the neighborhood's magnolia tree!

My IRC bot is done, and I added a Windows binary of my password generator in case you don't have a C++ compiler. The IRC bot can be found here: http://www.nerblog.net/bot_src/. You need PHP to run it. I made my password generator four years ago, but it is just so useful. It is as random as I can make it. You can find it under "Miscellaneous". With this post I leave you a picture of the ever so beautiful magnolia tree. It is not ours, but it is nice to stare at; it smells fantastic, too . I will post again sometime this weekend. See you all later!

Since I started learning Japanese on my own, my aunt has been supportave from the get go. She sent me some "good luck cats". At least they are supposed to bring good luck.



Check post #243 for updates on the PHP irc bot I am making. The updates will be in the comments.

I have nothing in which to program. I am going to focus my next project in PHP. I know that it's been done, but I am going to make an IRC client in PHP. I am going to have to memorize quite a many more functions that I know of. A friend of mine, Sean, taught me some basic regex, so I am feeling more confident than ever. I am accepting any help on this project. Send me an e-mail if you wish to participate. Once I get it running, I will be making a #nerblog channel on the kbfail network. I am finally happy now that I have something to do!

I went to the doctor today. I have a lump on the bottom of my right ribcage. The doctor thinks that it is caused by an old rib injury that I might have aquiured when I had my seizure a couple of months ago. I lost weight on his scales, too  . They ran a UI and found some blood sugars to be a tad high. I am getting more lab work done tomorrow to check for diabetes. It sounds like a drag, but I am not that worried. Sure it will mean a lifestyle change, but if it keeps me alive and healthy, I am all for it.

Yesterday when I was going for a walk, I fell and twisteid my right ankle...again . Thankfully my dad was there, so I made it home in one piece with little pain. It is sore as hell today, though .

I am willing to offer my servieces as a programer for hire. If you need help, find me and ask! I know C/C++, PHP and several web-based languages. That's all for now .

This has been a fairly gloomy week. Yet despise its gloom, there have been some high points. For one thing, the rain and cold can pretty much go and fuck themselves. Yesterday in particular was especially horrible! It rained all day and the night before. The only good day was earlier in the week; for the life of me I don't know what day that was. Other than that, it has been a very, very sleepy week. I got to hang with my case worker, Mia, yesterday. We went to the mall and walked about one and a half to two miles; we talked a lot too--it was pretty fun. I see her every other Friday. We will go to the library on May 28. I look forward to hanging out with her; she's fun and makes good company. Plus she takes me out of the house...that makes for a win right there !

While we were out at the mall, we went to the Vintage Stock there. While we were there, I spotted a used CD by Creed; the album was "Weathered". I got it for a sleek $3 bucks. As soon as I got home, I rushed to my lair and ripped it to my laptop. It joins my collection of Seether, Godsmack, Evanescence, and Lady GaGa. I wish I had more music, but I don't have that many CDs, and I am afraid to download music nowadays. Plus my mp3 player is completely out of commission. I do not have a portable CD player either. I guess that all I have to do is rack up CDs and Itunes cards to replenish my music database. Losing 3009 songs really hurts me deep inside.

Changing the subject here. I am attempting to make a web crawler that downloads images to my pc. That way I just run my script and the images on a website will be automatically downloaded to my laptop! I gave thought to which language to code it in. I went thru C, Perl, Python, BASIC (lol), and PHP...I managed to settle on PHP. When I finish it, I will release it to the public. It can't be that hard, I mean really , just a few loops and a header() function should do it. We shall see how easy it is. It might just challenge me to no end! I am going to target 4chan for my little script.

I added a red theme and a purple theme to Nerblog. Try them out if you like. There is also a FAQ section up. Access it under the "Miscellaneous" tab up of the page. I will try to post again tomorrow after church. Until next time, bai!

So let us see...what has happened that is worthy to blog about. There are actually plenty of things that I could write about! They are, but not limited to: studying my studying of the Japanese language, video games, the future of Nerblog, and of life itself in general.

As far as Japanese goes, there are a few milestones I've reached. I have officially learned the Hiragana. Now I need to increase my vocabulary and learn the Katakana. I have learned a few kanji, but I am sure that I will learn more vocabulary as my kanji knowledge increases. I am using the textbook that my aunt bought for me about a month ago. The book contains both alphabets (Hiragana & Katakana), kanji, and quite a few vocabulary words. They have mostly nouns, but there are adjectives, adverbs, and the like. They show many verbs and how to conjugate them. This is volume one out of a two or three volume set. I made flash cards on notebook cards to help me learn the Hiragana. I am going to tackle the Katakana and kanji in the very same way.

I have throttled back on my gaming. I have not played Star Ocean, or any game for that matter, for about a week. I think that I just needed some time off. Today after I go to the gym, I am going to get back into it. Probably play a long, lost game: Continuum. After I indulge in some frustrating online gaming, I will play my Nintendo 64 for a while. After five to six hours of N64 quality time, I am going straight to Star Ocean: Till the End of Time. That will put me to bed at about 9p to 12a. I have a "bedtime quota" of 9p as part of my therapy. Wake up at 8a, bed at 9p. Frankly, I loathe it, but I can't get around it. When I wake up tomorrow, I am going straight back to Star Ocean!

I have been adding logos for Nerblog like crazy. I have 19 logos that cycle at random. I plan on having up to 30 by next Monday. Be sure to visit the stats to check the status of the logos, and of the server . Access it via the miscellaneous tab up top.

I have been having great days as of late. This latest haircut has totally changed my way of life. I can wear hats again, and my hair looks great! I have been active as of late: exercise, proper diet, and as of today I am back into weightlifting! My days have just been perhaps too great. Well, I am going out for a bit, so I will blog again in a few days. Blog ya later~

Hello it's me again. I have a serious problem that needs some serious fixing. To put it plainly, I need a girlfriend! I have not had a girlfriend in five years. In my past, I have had three serious relationships; all of them tragically ended. I would greatly appreciate any advice from anyone on this matter. This is the hardest thing, harder than anything I have done! Why has the good Lord made this matter so freaking difficult?! I am sure that he has his reasons for doing this, I just want to know if there is a way to get by it. God has to have an answer for this; maybe some people are destined to have problems. I am a believer that there is someone for everyone, but sometimes finding that someone is difficult and can take some discipline. I will have to overcome personal obstacles in order to move on.

Let me give you a run down on the girls I have dated / been around with. The first, and most wild one, was Carmen. She also had a mental condition. I believe she was stricken with a case of bipolar syndrome. She had vibrant red hair; the only girl that had red hair that I was actually attracted to. It was short and combed in a sexy spiral. Later on she moved away to Idaho. Six months later I saw her again. It turns out that someone knocked her up. I did not mind that too much, but what got me concerned was the fact that she had ovarian cancer.

A few months after I lost contact with Carmen, I was sent to the mental hospital. While I was in there, I met this girl that was beyond beautiful. She started making moves toward me. She gave me her phone number and we hit it off. After we got out of the hospital, I drove down two hours to spend some time with her. I had the time of my life with her. She was a blond beauty; my favorite girlfriend by far. I was then informed that she, like Carmen, was stricken down with ovarian cancer. After our little date, we lost contact. For all I know, sweet, sweet Tiffany may be dead. I hope that she is okay, but I just haven't heard or seen her for about six years.

The final one, and most likely the most odd and intense one, may be with Cara. I met with her in World of Warcraft. We just chatted for awhile. Our relationship lasted about 8 months; most of it was while she was in Colorado and I was in Missouri. Long distance relationships don't ever work out . We had everything in common. It was fantastic. We would just talk day in and day out. Remember this, everyone: long-distance relationships don't work out too well. After about eight months, we just kind of drifted apart. Oh well--sic vita est.

Now that all of that is beside me, I am on the search for a new girlfriend. I am doing all that I can do: keep up my appearance by diet and exercise, going to all the right places where girls hang out, being polite, etc. I have a few major problems, though. I am very shy and I can't introduce myself. That goes for boys and for girls. I need introduction lessons or something. When I talk, especially to attractive women, I tend to get a frog in my throat, stutter, and run into a ton of other problems. Do all guys have this problem? Do girls have this problem when talking to guys? I don't know, but I do know that I am plum sick and tired of it all!

As for looking in all the right places, I have gotten suggestions. All of them have problems. One suggestion was to look at my church. Well all of the women at my church are either 50 to 80 years old, or 5-15 years young. There was a good looking one yesterday, but I didn't know her age. She could be a 15 going on 18 girl. Why did God make such creatures? Another problem I have with is the mall. The age group is that of the church (50 to 80 years old, or 5-15 years young). If you goon a Saturday, then there might be college-age women hanging around. The movie theatre is okay, but still not a good place to go. All of the women there are coupled with men or other women. Speaking of that, why are the really hot ones lesbians? There was a girl at my old apartment complex that was very beautiful. I ask her to a movie, and she says, "I am gay, sorry." One month later I saw her with another girl .

Some of my friends are getting married and having kids. Here I am, silly old Alex who can't even get a girlfriend. Granted I don't want a wife or kids at this moment, but I would not mind a girl to keep me company. Oh well, I am sure that I'll get one someday. I guess that I will just have to swallow my pride, move on, and start talking to woman. It means that I will have to introduce myself and make conversation, but I am sure that I will be able to manage that sometime in the hopefully, near future! I still would not mind getting some advice from anyone on how to start doing this. All the girlfriends I have had asked me on a date, not the other way around. I want to take charge of my "love life" and get a girlfriend on my own terms. I am not picky by any means, nor am I desperate. I just hate it when fat, ugly guys hook up with total babes. How do they do it? The answer is simple: the guys take action and ask the beauties out on a date. From there it goes all in the right direction and they ave a great relationship. I say God bless to those who have a relationship.

Who is the person that loves you unconditionally? Who is the person that would die to save your life? Who feeds and clothes you from birth to the end? Who helps you with most things reasonable. The answer is Mom. So today pay some special attention to your mother in any way you can. Cook for her or something. Be sure to get her a card and a present! Make it special. May your mother have a great holiday!

Re: my mother: I love you, mom . Here is a picture to honor you... your favorite flower: purple rose.

I got my ears lowered today (that means a hair cut). I got it cut for the summer, so it is really short. I can finally wear my shamrock hat again since my hair is short enough. I will put up a couple of pics of my new style. Bad news: I can't find my shamrock hat, so that pic will have to wait. If you will compare this one with the previous ones in the personal page, you will see a big difference. You will notice that I am wearing my glasses this time. I have worn them for many years, but I usually tend to remove them when I take a picture. I figure that I have nothing to hide, so why not ? I also got some new dress slacks at the clothing store today. I am feeling pretty good right about now.

I added some stuff to the personal page. I also put stuff under Miscellaneous. I have added more logos to the loop up top. There are now 15 different logos. I also added personal page stuffs. All this aside, I have about maxxed out Nerblog; time to move on. I'll still post on it, but I won't develop anymore. So keep visiting !

Guess what, folks? Mother's Day is coming up! It's that time where we honor that one special person that gave life to us. If you have a good relationship or a bad one, alive or dead, you should still pay respects to your mother.

I got a new MSN handle. There is a list of my contact information at the bottom right side, but here is it nice and fresh!


E-mail:
     agardner210@gmail.com
AIM:
     ceil x11
MSNIM:
     agardner210@hotmail.com
Skype:
     ceilx11
Yahoo!:
     ceil210
Google Talk:
     omg.wtf.lag@gmail.com
IRC:
     irc.jcink.com/#jcink.com
     irc.kbfail.net/#snoopy


And now here are some new pics of me. One with no hat and one with my shamrock hat. I also put them on the personal page. Until next time ~~~

Happy May Day! Be sure and give flowers to everyone!

I have been studying the Japanese language fairly intensely as of late. Right now I am cramming the Hiragana and the Katakana down in to my noodle. I am also attempting to throw myself at some vocabulary words. I need to learn better verb conjugation; I know some, but I need to indulge further into it. I already know the word order fairly well. It goes subject, object, verb (SOV); English is subject, verb, object (SVO). It can be tricky at first, but it is easily mastered. I have a friend that I know who lives in Japan. I e-mail him with questions or talk to him via e-mail. I have known him for 5 years, but I never took interest in his language until recently.

I have been making flash cards of the Hiragana alphabet and jotting the roumanji equivalent on the back. It is working quite well. I am almost done with Hiragana and about to move on to Katakana. Once I learn both languages, I will move onward to vocabulary words, and kanji ! I have one of my parents quiz me the cards. I am 97% to 100% on each round. This seems to be the best way to learn to me. If you know of a better way, post a comment or send me an e-mail! My e-mail is on the bottom-right of the page.

My anime folder, full of my videos, topped 53.2GB today. Now I am burning my videos on to DVDs. I have some torrents that I am sharing now. Check under the Miscellaneous tab. I made a new logo and put it in the cycle. It is a hot shot of Yuko Ogura.