Whatever happened to free press? Does it not exist on the Internet? No, I'm not talking about any big, controversial, issues or anything. I'm talking about restrictions that are placed upon me whilst posting. Well fuck it, I'm going to tell it all as it needs to be told right now.

It all began about a month ago...I met this wonderful girl, a muse if you will. There is but only one reason I have kept it a secret until now. There is another person who has feelings for her, and they read my website (so you see where I'm going with this). Her name is Cara, and we share many things in common. Now I know many of you will laugh at this, but the way we met is very odd. We met via the mmorpg known as World of Warcraft. It started with a random guild invite and wound up ending with a twist of romance. It was a pain to keep our relationship a secret, but we managed to keep it under wraps for about a month or so. We both are madly in love with each other...

In this last paragraph, I will speak to the third party in this manner. First off, I want you to know I value your privacy and will not mention your name. Second of all, I know the friendship we had will be gone after you read this, but dammit you need to know what's going on. You assume well, I will give you that. There were some pretty "duh" clues that were left lying around that you missed, and I am not suprised that you didn't pick up on it any sooner. I know that you may be heartbroken, but please understand that your relationship with her was not healthy, nor was it normal in society's viewpoint. Again, I apologize for any harm caused to you and advise you seek professional help.

Got a couple of albums to add to my small, but growing, music collection. The albums I got were See You on the Other Side by Korn, and Fallen by Evanescence. My music collection used to consist of over 2,000 MP3 files until some jerk off *cough*cody*cough* pulled my iPod out of the computer whilst my back was turned. Conviently, that same day is the day my HDD crashed (I'm sure many of you remember that!). Also that day I misplaced my CD holder and still haven't found it to this date . So I've been busy "acquiring" music from any source I can. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

First of all, I'd like to thank the supportiveness of the people that posted to my previous entry. Some of the comments were nice; while one of them got me a little irate. Sorry about keeping the details concealed, but there are things that are best not viewed by the public until it is time.

(1) Ride the wave. (2) Go do some programming. You will never be able to get more done in such a little time. (3) Generally, putting a limit on discussion will make sure it rides out longer. (4) ??? (5) PROFIT!!!

This particular comment is getting a user banned from reading my blog again. Also as a reference, I am setting up a filter/threshold system such as slashdot.org has. This should prevent pure idiocy from being read on my web journal.

In nerblog related news, not only am I going to improve the commentary system, but Irayo is helping me spice things up a bit around here (since I'm busy with "other matters" nowadays). I'm also setting up a forum for support, general spamming, etc. You can probably find it with careful sniffing, as it is set up, but I'm not posting the url yet. By the by, I posted a "personal" section which contains details and a photo of me. You can get to it under the crusty panties section on the right side, or by going here.

I'd like to wish happy birthday to my mother (on the 21st). Seeing as I forgot till the last minute, I simply cut her off a fifty dollar check as a present

One last thing....I BROKE 200 DPS ON WOW B)

I am in love. I don't know what in the world is going on, but I am so happy right now. I fell in love with the most beautiful woman and we have so much in common...she shall remain nameless for privacy's sake

I'm in need of advice...what do I do now? Words alone can't express the passion I feel for her. If you have any advice for me, please let me know either by e-mail or a simple comment to this post. The primary emotion I'm feeling is extreme happiness. Look at me, I can't even write a coherent post I'm so dazed. I'm not sad at all, nor am I confused; I'm just so...SO...SO happy and I don't know what's coming next or what I should do now....if she reads this then I want her to know that every waking moment I spend with her makes the whole world light up.

Again, if any of you guys/gals have any advice for me, please let me know!

Sorry I haven't posted in quite awhile! This is going to be a short entry because I'm short on time (still job hunting). Over the past few days I've been fighting some sort of internal conflict. I'm not going to say what because the people that need to know already know what I'm talking about. I am no longer suicidal, but rather very, very happy

Also I've been getting quite a few new CDs recently. I got Extreme Behavior by Hinder; and Fragile and Karma & Effect by Seether. I've been listening to them almost nonstop. If you don't like my kind of music, share what you do like. I promise I won't rip your head off unless it's country or rap

ZOMG I broke 12k armor on my warrior the other day with WoW. Check this sheet out!



Purdy darned cool, eh? B)

Today was a horrible day. I woke up this morning and just wanted to end it all. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but I had a knife in my hand and almost lodged it into my throat. I stopped myself just as the knife pricked my skin. It didn't appear to leave a mark and I'm okay so I guess that's a good thing. It kind of made me wonder why I live; why I exist. What is the point in me living if all I want to do is terminate my existence? Am I "destined" to live life with these cycles I have (manic-depressive) even with medication? Will I die by my own hand later in life? These are questions for another day though, so I'll move on.

I went and saw my therapist about three hours after the incident. What it boils down to is this: trauma. I'm not going to post the exact details, but lets just say that I underwent some pretty shitty times in my childhood. Not from my parents, but rather from my "friends". Well I'll post more about this tomorrow when I feel better.

Speaking of tomorrow, I've got to go pick up my transcript and take it to the college I'm going to because the High School is too lazy to do it themselves! I've also got to go hunting for a second job tomorrow. It's not that I need the money, but rather I want MORE money. Well, I've gotta jet and catch some shut eye after I PvP a bit in World of Warcraft.

I finally got the 900g required to get my epic mount on my warrior! It took me about 2 weeks, but finally a Krol Blade dropped for me and BAM! Sold the sucker for 500g

Nerblog is now hosted with the domain "nerblog.net"!!

So today I picked up a copy of Fable: The Lost Chapters. I've heard the game is quite easy to beat and takes little to no time at all. All I know is while trying to make my character "evil", I got thrown out of a town and killed by guards after I demolished a few houses and beat up a little girl .

Graphics wise the game is amazing. The only conflict I'm having is sometimes the text gets chopped up and is illegible. I'm not sure why, but it's probably a simple problem that can be solved with just a little adjustment.

The game has good sound qualities, too. The background music isn't annoying and the combat sounds are pretty fitting. The dialogue is clear-cut and easy to understand (it has an option for subtitles, but you don't need it if you have ears).

With my one hour of game play and getting through the guild training, I can say that I am going to love this new addiction. Personally, I don't give a damn if the game is "easy" or "short". It certainly appears to have quite a bit of replay value to it

Well this is all I'm writing for today. I've got some more stuff to do then maybe sleep later if I get tired.